THE TRAGIC CHANGE- How I dealt with my health issues and still didn’t give up on art.

I enjoyed my time in Punjab. As unlikely as it is to find a Christian officer in the Indian Army, we had 6 Christian families in one place and Sundays were never a bore. We went to Church together, had potluck lunches and talked a lot. We made some great friends; ate Goan, Mangalorean, and Coorgi cuisine and had loads of fun and that made the most boring place on earth, the best. I shouldn’t forget to mention that I once visited Pooja (army wife and friend)’s house and saw these beautiful paintings at her place and fell in love with painting all over again. Inspiration! They were painted by her dad. Pooja too is a well know artist now.

I always say ‘Time flies so quickly when you are having fun’. We’d lived in Punjab for a little over a year and my husband was sent to a new place again just when we had moved into an amazing new house. I had to stay back in Punjab for a month or two until we got one allotted in the new place. I think I could’ve stayed with my husband in a temporary accommodation but I had to stay in a nice house for once, even if it was for a month.

A few days before he left though, I started having a sharp pain in my back toward the right hip. Pascal thought it was because I had just got an injection in my left heel because I had a very painful heel spur and I was limping so it might’ve caused the pain in my back. He left to the new place and I kept complaining about my back pain. I kept thinking that I had a sprain but I began to worry when the pain didn’t go away even after a month. I eventually packed up and moved to the new place. The pain increased and I kept ignoring it until one day when I was sitting in a chair for an hour and I started getting pain radiating down all the way to my right leg. Oh dear, I knew I was in trouble. I went to an orthopedic and he just sent me away with pain killers and anti-inflammatory drugs. He told me to come back after a week if pain didn’t subside. I dint want to see his face again but there I was, a week and a half later with no change. He sent me away again with new drugs and back again I was at the hospital after a week. I got some scans and he didn’t find anything wrong with me. He had the nerve to tell me that it was all in my head. I just wanted to shake him and tell him ‘It is in my back and right leg you Moron!’

After another week of anti-inflammatory drugs, I went to the ortho doc back again and said, ’either refer me to a Neurolosurgeon or order an MRI scan’. The doc must’ve finally seen it in my eyes, the pain and anger and he made the right decision of doing both before I started yelling or crying. Within a week, I was done with the MRI and I was sitting in front of a doctor who was quite plainly telling me ‘You have Lumbar SpondyloLISTHESIS and that is causing a nerve compression in your right leg, hence the sciatica and I’m afraid you have to live with it for the rest of your life’. There it was, THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE.

I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t cry. There was no fix. I was devastated.

Once I wrapped my head around what had happened (it took a few weeks), I finally called an orthopedic surgeon whom I trusted. He told me what physiotherapy I have to do and I followed his instructions. I went for physiotherapy alternating every 15 days. Not much change in my condition. I cried all the time. I was on bed rest for months which led me to put on weight. Pascal cooked for me after he came back from work, he helped me bathe, and he even fed me. He did everything for me.

I called the doc yet again and he said he could help me ease the pain. So Pascal took a week’s leave and we went to Punjab and the doc used to personally come and set up for my physiotherapy every day. A week of physiotherapy there and lots of multivitamins and my radiating pain was down by 75%. I was so happy. Some improvement is better than nothing right?

Things got better. I improved. Mom and Dad visited me. They stayed for a week. One evening, they suggested we go for a walk and I was shocked to discover I couldn’t even walk half a Km. But I probably wouldn’t have gotten out of bed if it wasn’t for that day. I then went to Bangalore for 3 months, joined the  gym, found a physical trainer who was also a physiotherapist and trained with him for three months. My life changed tremendously after that. I got better; I pushed myself too hard though, and was sick again for a while but now I know how to fix it. I know my limitations and I strive to do well.

There will always be people who do not understand me; they see my smile and joy and think ‘Oh this girl is just pretending to be sick, avoiding work, stubborn, doesn’t mingle, doesn’t socialize…etc,’ Yeah I’ve heard it all and I don’t give a damn. You can judge me. It only reflects what you are. If only you were in my shoe, but I wouldn’t wish it even on my enemy.

No matter what difficulties come your way, strive to achieve what you want. Don’t let anything get in your way. I cannot sit or stand for more than half an hour, I have to lie down or rest for 5-10 minutes every hour, but I still come up with excellent paintings and if I can achieve my goals, then you can too. 🙂

The next blog post will be more about art. Watch out for some good tips on working with oil paint. And a little bit about me 🙂